ABUSE IS A CRIME
Wife assault is a crime and can have profound negative effects on the women an children who witness it.
ARE YOU OR HAVE YOU BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED
All abuse must be taken seriously. All abuse is damaging. While the results of some kinds of abuse are more visible, it is not possible to say that visible abuse is more serious than abuse which cannot be seen. Not all abuse progresses to physical violence, but almost all physical violence begins with emotional abuse.
SEXUALLY ABUSIVE PARTNERS
- May say anything that makes you feel bad about your self image or body
- May insult you sexually
- May make sexual advances towards other people
- May make you do sexual acts you do not want to do
- May force you to have sex
SEXUAL ASSAULT – DISPELLING THE MYTHS
TRUE OR FALSE?
Sexual assaults are most often committed by strangers.
69% of sexual assaults are committed by a know assailant
The best way for a woman to protect herself from sexual assault is to avoid being alone at night in a dark, deserted place such as an alley or parking lot.
Most sexual assaults occur in a private home (60%) and the largest percentage of these (38%) occur in the victim’s home.
Men who sexually assault women are either mentally ill or sexually starved.
Sexual assault is a crime of power, control and violence. Studies and research on the psychological profiles of rapists overwhelmingly reveal that they are “ordinary, normal” average men.
Only young and attractive women are sexually assaulted.
Sexual assault happens to women of all ages and physical types, from every cultural, racial, religious and socioeconomic background including native, immigrant, rural, elderly women and women with disabilities.
Women provoke sexual assault by their appearance of behaviour. Women who are sexually assaulted, 'ask for it'.
Women always have a right to say no to sexual involvement. The idea that women, “ask for it” is often used by Men who assault to rationalize their behaviour.
Even though a woman say, 'no', she secretly enjoys being forced to have sex.
“NO” means “NO”-whatever the situation.
A woman who has agreed to sex previously with the same partner (for example her husband or boyfriend) cannot be raped.
Sexual assault occurs whenever a person does not want to have sex but is forced to do so.
Did You know?
DEFINITIONS OF ABUSE
Includes hitting, shoving, slapping, kicking, choking, using a weapon, threatening to assault.
Includes the restriction and withholding of financial resources, including prevention from obtaining or maintaining employment
PSYCHOLOGICAL / EMOTIONAL ABUSE
PSYCHOLOGICAL / EMOTIONAL ABUSE
Includes insulting, name calling, blaming, threatening suicide, attempts to control another person’s thinking, social contacts, activities and behaviour.
Includes forcing a woman to have sex against her wishes. This includes any unwanted touching, kissing, fondling or sexual threats.
EFFECTS OF ABUSE
Fear and Panic Attacks
IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS BEING ABUSED…
- Be supportive, listen and be patient.
- Encourage her to seek support and shelter.
- Tell her that she does not deserve the abuse – It is not her fault.
- Know the numbers for emergency services in your area.
- Prepare an emergency bag with keys, identification, legal papers, money, medications.
- Take only what you can, safely!
THE CYCLE OF ABUSE – WHY MEN ABUSE AND WHY WOMEN STAY
WHY DO MEN ABUSE?
- have learned this behaviour in their family or origin (75% of batterers have witnessed their father abusing their mother)
- believe and are influenced by dominant male images reinforced by society and media
- live in society where there are few, if any, negative consequences for woman abuse
- believe it is an appropriate expression of power and control
- want their partner to remain dependent on them
WHY DO WOMEN STAY?
- want their relationship to work and hope their partner will change
- fear of reprisals from their partner
- lack of money or housing (95% of women who left their partner live below the poverty line
- want their children to have a father at home
- feel guilt, shame and responsibility for the abuse
- are not aware that help is available
- may have religious or familial beliefs that condemn a woman for leaving
- do not have personal or social supports
- fear of losing their children